Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Ultra-thin lenses halve incident wavelength to make infrared light visible - Phys.org

And the sadness?

I was tired of fighting.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Is there such a thing as "left wing fascism"? If not, what is an example of a political ideology that is often mistakenly labeled as "left wing fascism"?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Screen time and physical activity habits linked to adolescent stress and depression - PsyPost

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

You are like me, then.

How old is planet Earth? Is it 4.5 billion years old or 6,000 years old?

The sadness was still there.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What makes you different?

It’s still here.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Be who you already are.

Neither China nor Egypt, the largest construction visible from space is located in Europe. - Farmingdale Observer

I had run out of hope.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Why do atheists always argue about the existence of suffering in the world as meaning God doesn't exist when it doesn't prove anything?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Howard Stern explains what friend Billy Joel wants everyone to know about his brain disorder diagnosis - New York Post

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

What real evidence is there to believe in legends such as the story of Atlandida or the lost continent of Lemuria?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.